Why remake it when the original was so good? That’s the question asked every day all over the world (Other common sayings: ‘Wow, that remake was terrible!’ and ‘I didn’t think it was possible, but this remake actually ruined the original for me, too.’) It’s hard for the audience to accept new cast, new sets, even new takes on the character. Now, disclaimer, I’m not talking about sequels here. No. Bona fide remakes. Prepare yourself for the horror.
10. Spiderman. Umm…this is awkward…I actually liked this one. I know, I know, after I ranted about how terrible remakes are. I just really like Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield. Sorry. So, I put it as number 10, and if you want to pretend it’s not here, you can move on down the line to number 9. It’s a good movie, though. Watch it.
9. Psycho. So, confession time. I haven’t actually seen this one. I don’t need that kind of stress in my life right now. If I was forced to sit through such a brutal massacre of one of my favorite films, I would cry. Is that what you want? For me to cry? Don’t worry though, I have solid testimony from my friends that it was terrible. (If you liked the remake, blame them, not me) But seriously, shot for shot remake? Why would they think that would work?
8. Mary Poppins. This one’s not out yet, but I just had to throw it in. HOW DARE THEY? How. Dare. They. You can’t remake Mary Poppins.
7. Maleficent. This annoys me to no end. The remake wasn’t even THAT terrible of a movie, but why did they feel they had to remake the original at all? There was nothing wrong with Sleeping Beauty, and now it gets a bad reputation just because Maleficent has a ‘better’ take on it. Maleficent WASN’T better. Don’t argue with me.
6.Oz the Great and Powerful. This had some pretty colors and all, but you can’t compete with the original. Stop trying to make twisted remakes. It never works out. Ever.
5. Freaky Friday. This was my favorite movie for years! I only saw the Lindsay Lohan version recently, and it was terrible. A cool concept, remade into the same touchy feely movie I’ve seen a million times before. I’m so disappointed.
4. The Addams Family. My sisters and I saw every episode of Addams Family, and every adaptation I’ve seen has been terrible. It’s really hard to capture that certain Addams family essence without veering off into a parody.
3. Cinderella. They took such a classic film and made it into something completely forgettable. They tried to twist it and just ended up changing it to the point where it’s not recognizable. Even the glass slippers were ugly!
2. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Johnny Depp does not deserve to be WIlly Wonka. I mean, Willy Wonka’s supposed to be insane, but not in a scary way. The ‘Pure Imagination’ edged on psycho killer in this film, and I just can’t handle it. My heart cries a tear for the original.
1. Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland has always been one of my absolute favorites, and Tim Burton kind of ruined it for me. I was just so quirky and magical, and in the new one, it’s twisted and plasticky. I just can’t stand it! Everything’s just….wrong.
Parchment, Pepper, and Paperbacks 
